Episode Three

I’ve finally bothered to watch Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sniff, or whatever it’s called.

Last fifteen minutes were pretty marvellous. Sadly, the two hours preceeding were filled with idiot dialogue, so much CGI that it was hard to focus and enough wooden acting to replant the Amazon rainforest.

I know that my hatred of George Lucas is well-known, so I won’t bore you with that. I will tell you this: I would really love to love Star Wars. I think it’s a great idea and although I disliked Episode II, I at least came away understanding a bit better about Vader in the OT. I just didn’t realise that the petulant teenager thing would run over into the third installment too. I would love to love Star Wars, but it’s not going to happen because these just aren’t very good films. The original ones suffer only from the genuinely shite and primitive technology used (although that never really stood in Harryhausen’s way…) but the recent lot are just… naff. It’s like they creak under the weight of what they precede, and so perhaps that’s why only the last fifteen minutes of III really stood out for me. I don’t know.

I’d love to love Star Wars, but it’s just not going to happen. Not while I’m laughing at dialogue that’s supposed to be making my eyes damp or yawning at Yet Another Effect.

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