So, I could be typing up my stories, the works of great marvel that might one day make my fortune, but instead I’ll sit here and write shit about people that don’t care for people that aren’t reading!
I’ve watched the entire The Beatles Anthology over the last few days. It seems so much shorter and less detailed than I remember, and I haven’t seen it properly since long before George died. Dear George. It was so long ago that I sat watching the videos over and over again, drinking in every image, every song, ever harmony. I remember so well the way my mum didn’t want to buy it at Costco the week it came out- eight-video sets were expensive in 1996/7 or whenever it came out… I picked it up and begged for it for Crimbo and she made me put it back. I must have been so pathetic, for she relented and bought it… then put it up on a shelf until Christmas (surely some months later).
I remember so well watching the promo video for ‘Something’ over and over again. How beautiful Pattie Harrison was, how thick was Maureen Starkey’s eyeliner, how hippieish was Linda, how kooky was Yoko…. How wonderfully bitterly sharp George was talking about The End Of It All. I always liked the end of it better than the beginning, somehow.
What I don’t remember is being so FUCKING IRRITATED and ANNOYED every time Paul fuckin’ McCartney opens his mouth to speak. I’ve a few ideas as to what has occasioned this change, but fuck me, I find him almost unbearable now.
Back then, I was John’s girl. I mean, I lived and breathed John Lennon for awhile… but I always adored George and Richie too. Paul’s never been my favourite, but I know all the words to everything on All the Best and Wingspan and Band on the Run… but somewhere along the line he’s become someone I can barely stand. I don’t even own Chaos and Creation in the Backyard, which came out late last year.
Someone I know tried to date it to Unladylike Heather Mills-McCartnye, but I know it was before that. He was pissing me off before that… and I don’t really know why. Is it that the old fucker is so patently fake, so obviously trying to be Paul McCartney, Beatle For Hire? Is it that he’s always been like that but it was easier to stomach when he was young?
Fuck, I’m getting to the point where I really don’t like him, and I don’t like that. He said, of the Concert For George and Dhani Harrison’s apparent George-features that it looked like “George stayed young and we got old” or something. I hate that so much. I don’t think Dhani actually looks all that much like George. I mean yeah, at a glance it’s uncanny, but at second and third glance, it’s such a disservice to the younger Harrison. He’s a pretty guy all right, but he doesn’t look that much like George. George was ‘Gorgeous George’ in his own way but… I’ve stopped making sense. The point is this, PAULIE: Give the poor little sod a chance on his own merits! The guy is pretty hot, and not because he’s George Harrison’s kid. You making remarks like that isn’t gonna help, is it? Wanker.
Somewhere along the line, I forgot to love Paul, and he forgot to be Paul. He’s always been Mr Showbiz, Mr Thumbs-Up, but… I dunno. It’s not the divorce, because we always knew he was a penny pinching old bastard… Perhaps it’s this: When Linda died, he lost the last person to really call him on his bullshit. Johnny Leper used to do it back in the old days, and I rather believe straight-talking Linda did the same. Since then, nobody has… at least nobody that he’ll listen to or respect. Even Geoff Baker, his publicist of many years, got fired for his anti-Heather and cocaine issues.
I loved a guy called Paul McCartney and his mates once. I really wish I could get back to that point, because it’s making the Anthology all but un-watchable.
And please, there are Dhani Harrison fansites? I know he has a band of his own now, but what has he done? Please don’t live your vicarious George stuff through him- it’s not fair to either of them. Appreciate the boy’s beauty but… please.
ETA: I really miss George. I feel his perspective would be useful these days. You know it’ll be five years in November? I can hardly believe it… I can hardly believe it’s nearly five years since I was curled up on the floor weeping for a world passed and… I can hardly believe it. I’ve come so far in those five years and yet the rest of the world feels like it’s gone backwards. I miss him more than I have a right to. Dhani, now he has a right. His beautiful mother Olivia has a right. The also-still-beautiful Pattie Boyd even has a right. What fucking right do I have to weep over George Harrison?